Stimulus Check

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.
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> This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:
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> Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
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> A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
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> Q.. Where will the government get this money ?
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> A. From taxpayers.
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> Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
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> A. Only a smidgen of it.
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> Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
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> A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a
> high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
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> Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
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> A. Shut up.
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> Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
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> * If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will
> go to China or Sri Lanka .
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> * If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the
> Arabs.
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> * If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or
> China .
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> * If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,
> Honduras and Guatemala ..
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> * If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .
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> * If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
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> * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go
> to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
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> Instead, keep the money in America by:
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> 1) Spending it at yard sales, or
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> 2) Going to ball games, or
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> 3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
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> 4) Beer or
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> 5) Tattoos.
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> (These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )
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> Conclusion:
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> Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard
> sale and drink beer all day !
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> No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.
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