Early TV show, LOL!!!!

These great questions and answers are from the days
> when '
> Hollywood Squares' game
> show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as
> they are now. Peter
> Marshall was the host asking the questions, of
> course...
>
>
>
>
>
> Q..
> Paul, what is a good reason for
> pounding meat?
>
>
> A.
> Paul Lynde :
> Loneliness!
>
> (The
> audience
> laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes
> of the show!)
>
>
>
>
> Q.
> Do female frogs
> croak?
>
>
> A. Paul
> Lynde : If you hold their little heads
> under water long enough.
>
>
>
> Q.
> If
> you're going to make a parachute jump, at least
> how high should you
> be
>
> A.
> Charley Weaver :
> Three days of steady drinking should do it.
>
>
>
> Q. True
> or False, a pea can last as
> long as 5,000 years.
>
>
> A.. George
> Gobel : Boy, it sure seems that
> way sometimes.
>
>
>
> Q.
> You've been having trouble going to
> sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
>
>
> A.
> Don Knotts :
> That's what's been keeping me awake.
>
>
>
> Q. According
> to
> Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and
> you think
> that he is
> attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if
> he's married?
>
> A..
> Rose Marie :
> No wait until morning.
>
>
>
> Q. Which
> of your five senses tends to
> diminish as you get older?
>
>
> A.
> Charley Weaver :
> My sense of decency..
>
>
>
> Q. In
> Hawaiian, does it take more than
> three words to say 'I Love
> You'?
>
>
> A. Vincent
> Price : No, you can say it with a
> pineapple and a twenty..
>
>
>
> Q. What
> are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and
> 'I Can't Get
> Enough'?
>
>
> A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming
> from the next apartment.
>
>
>
>
> Q. As
> you grow older, do you tend to
> gesture more or less with your hands while
> talking?
>
> A.
> Rose Marie: You ask me one more
> growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a
> gesture you'll never
> forget.
>
>
>
>
> Q.
>
> Paul , why do Hell's Angels
> wear leather?
>
>
> A. Paul
> Lynde : Because chiffon wrinkles too
> easily.
>
>
>
> Q.
> Charley, you've just
> decided to grow
> strawberries.. Are you going to get any during the
> first year?
>
> A.
> Charley Weaver: Of course not,
> I'm too busy growing strawberries.
>
>
>
> Q. In
> bowling, what's a perfect
> score?
>
> A. Rose
> Marie : Ralph ,
> the pin boy.
>
>
>
> Q.
> It
> is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects
> at nudist camps. One
> is politics, what is the
> other?
>
>
> A. Paul
> Lynde : Tape measures.
>
>
>
> Q.
> During a tornado, are you safer in
> the bedroom or in the
> closet?
>
>
> A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe
> in the bedroom.
>
>
>
> Q. Can
> boys join the Camp
> Fire Girls?
>
> A.
> Marty Allen :
> Only after lights out.
>
>
>
> Q. When
> you pat a dog on its head he
> will wag his tail. What will a goose
> do?
>
> A. Paul
> Lynde : Make him bark?
>
>
>
> Q. If
> you were pregnant for two years,
> what would you give birth to?
>
>
> A.
> Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it
> would never be afraid of the dark.
>
>
>
> Q.
> According to Ann Landers, is there
> anything wrong with getting into the habit of
> kissing a lot of people?
>
> A.
> Charley Weaver :
> It got me out of the army.
>
>
>
> Q.. It is
> the most abused and neglected
> part of your body, what is it?
>
>
> A.
> Paul Lynde :
> Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't
> neglected..
>
>
>
> Q. Back
> in the old
> days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,
> what was he
> trying to do?
>
> A.
> George Gobel :
> Get it in his mouth.
>
>
>
> Q. Who
> stays pregnant for a longer
> period of time, your wife or your
> elephant?
>
> A. Paul
> Lynde : Who told you about my elephant?
>
>
>
> Q. When
> a couple have
> a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
>
>
> A.
> Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the
> car, the rest is up to him
>
>
>
> Q.
> Jackie Gleason
> recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has
> actually seen
> them on at least two occasions. What are they?
>
>
> A.
> Charley Weaver :
> His feet.
>
>
>
> Q.
> According to Ann Landers, what are
> two things you should never do in
> bed?
>
> A. Paul
> Lynde : Point and laugh
>
>
>
> WE
> DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE
> GROW OLD, WE GROW
> OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING
>
>


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